Wednesday, 10 October 2018

20 things I've learnt in the last 20 years

Last month I entered a new decade, the invincible 20’s. It’s crazy to think that only a decade ago I promised my parents I would be a good great teenager and do well in school. Oh how time flies, and how I gave my absolute all to keep that promise to be the best daughter I could be.

I see the 20’s as an open field, an empty map. It’s up to me to make the next decade an interesting and loving one. It’s up to me to fill the map with roads, streets, signs, cities and nature. How exciting is that!
Though my life hasn’t always been a smooth ride (far from it actually!), there are so many lessons I learned in the things I experienced and I feel it is time I shared those lessons with you. I hope these words of wisdom can inspire you as well to create your own list, or even be a reminder that we’re always growing and to never stop learning!

It will also be an amazing post to look back on and remind myself of how far I’ve come and how many more lessons I will add to my 30 things I learned in my 30s list! For you and for me, here are 20 things I’ve learned in 20 years.
Oh but first things first, the outfits I wear in this post are from Shein. The Striped dress is £10.99 (search:525214) and the Lilac Puff Sleeve dress is £20.99 (search:467554). You can use code Ciandra15 for 15% off any purchase!

1. You'll have to sacrifice for everyone you love.
You are going to have to make sacrifices for everyone that you love and will love. In order to make any type of relationship work, this needs to be done.

2. You should always dress your best.
I’m not biased about this one because I’m a fashion blogger. In high school and growing up, I didn't care what I wore. Most of the time I would throw anything on and put my hair into a bun. However, as a young adult that doesn't really work anymore. Looking presentable helps you put your best foot forward; and makes you feel good too!

3. You can't act like a know-it-all.
When I turned 18, I thought I had all the answers. However, I soon realised that I barely have it together. This is a tough age because the world deems you as an "adult" when in fact, you're still extremely young. 20 is even still really young, but least I’m not a teen anymore.

4. Please just act like yourself.
The teen years were difficult. I would never, ever want to relive those hormonal, confusing years of my life. However, through it all, I remained true to who I was. I never let anyone change that about myself. I had friends that had many different sides to them. I'm telling you, even if you're a grown adult; don't "put on" for anyone. Be yourself, and more people will be drawn to that.
5. If you have money, don't let it get to your head. Same for looks too.
We all know those people that count their pennies first instead of their blessings. Please please please don't put your money or your ego before your loved ones; it will only make you look bad.

6. People who do you wrong can make you grow.
We've all had those people that we thought had our backs- and didn't. They have hurt you, but they also have made you grow into a wiser, stronger person.

7. Grief is a powerful process.
People in our lives aren't here to stay forever. This is a morbid statement but everyone that you'll learn to love will die one day. A death of a loved one of any kind can change a human being forever- it leaves its mark for sure. One thing my mum always said; you can let it make you bitter or better. If you let a death of a loved turn you bitter, you will hate life for a long, long time. Of course, the five stages of grief consist of anger, that is a phase and isn't forever.

8. Pets can do wonders
Studies show that people who own dogs have lower blood pressure than those who don't. If dog's aren't your thing, get a cat! If you're allergic to dogs, there are options out there such as poodles who don't shed so that you can have a sneeze free cuddle session with your pet! Being around cats is my whole life, they have made me smile, even when I didn't feel like it. I miss mine madly now I don’t live at home.

9. Don't try to conform to society's expectations.
So what if you're not a size 0? Or that you are muscular? Societies expectations of you doesn't have to be your own expectations of yourself. Of course, being 600 pounds overweight is a different story, that is not a healthy way to live. However, if you're a woman and you have a little more body hair than normal, or if you're a man and you have no body hair, it is completely normal. Just because society deems something abnormal, it doesn't mean that is.
10. What you eat IS important.
You may not think that drinking a lot of water and eating actual fruit and veggies can make you feel better, but it does. It actually helps you think better, it helps your moods and it also can help make you look better too. The saying "you are what you eat" is very, very true.

11. Always be aware of your surroundings. Always.
As a woman in today's society, it doesn't hurt to always be aware of what is going on around you. Whether you're in a perceived "safe place" or not, it doesn't hurt to know who is behind you at all times, who looks suspicious, or think about what you would do if something bad were to happen right at that moment. It is rare for me not to always be extremely aware of what or who is around me.

12. Be a safe driver.
We all have that one driver in our lives who we wonder how they don't get pulled over by the police every day on the way to work or school. Maybe you're one of these drivers. Moral of the story is try not to endanger those around you just because you're running late. It doesn't hurt to take a little more time to be more patient on the road. This is still something I am learning!

13. Always help those around you. Even if you don't feel like it.
Sometimes we hate being the friend that people call up asking for help. It can make us feel used, or maybe it is empowering that someone comes to you for help. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. Either way, you should be that person that people can come to for help. Help doesn't always mean "can you go to the store for me" or "can you ask so and so what they think of me", help can also mean giving advice or helping someone who looks lonely and sitting with them. Help can be being a really good friend to someone who needs it.

14. What goes around, really does come back around.
This is linked to number 13 in a big way. Even when you help people that you don't really think you should help, or you're on the fence about it, this is a reason why you might help them anyways. You never know that by helping someone, you might or might not need their help down the road too. Everyone needs help at some point in their lives, even the most independent people.

15. Shopping doesn't always make you feel better. It can make it a lot worse.
A lot of women say that shopping to them is therapy. A lot of times, I don't find this to be true for me personally. If I feel really bad or sad, spending a lot of my own money gives me more anxiety than it does relief. The crowds of people and the people at the small kiosks trying to talk to you as you walk by just isn't appealing to me if I'm having a bad day.
16. You can learn how to do anything on YouTube.
How do you change a tire? Go on YouTube. What's the best coffee machine and how does it work? YouTube. Want to watch ostriches run and stick their heads in the sand? YouTube. Even if you're having trouble in school with say a maths equation in geometry, you can find similar ones on YouTube. It is a powerful website that I will forever thank the YouTube gods for.

17. Exercise.
It is important to exercise whenever you can. It releases those "feel good" endorphin's that elevate your mood.

18. Take every relationship seriously, or don't have one.
You should take every relationship that you have 110% seriously. If you don't have the best of intentions then don't be in one. All relationships are hard work, you just have to find the ones worth the hard work.

19. If people don't respect you, it's on them.
If people don't respect you or act overly rude towards you, don't be that way back. Just walk away. It is better to leave things before they get out of hand, then to say something you'll regret.

20. And finally, but most importantly, laugh uncontrollably, because laughter is the best medicine!

Share your lessons in the comment below as I’d love to hear which experience shaped the beautiful person you are today.

Keep dreaming and believing!

Love Ciandra x

*The outfits in this post are sponsored by Shein, all opinions are my own.*


1 comment

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