Boobs, Self-Love and Confidence – My Breast Augmentation Journey

My body and I have been on a long journey together, from being grossly overweight to being severely underweight. This took its toll on my boobs and I ended up at 18 years old looking like a 5-year-old girl, I was as flat as a pancake!

I’ve always been insecure about this part of me since I was a teenager. When changes started happening with all my friends, I wasn’t quite changing in the same way, even when I was overweight I never had ‘boobs’. I got bullied for being overweight in my childhood up to the age of 13 and really affected my confidence. Fast forward to my teens and it went the other way, the bullying made me so self-conscious that I ended up developing an eating disorder and ended up in hospital for 6 months losing over half of my body weight. I took the leap of recovery and managed to regain the weight healthily and slowly recovered from my eating disorder. I was ‘recovered’ but still felt very conscious that I didn’t have a womanly figure. This year I started dating, I hated guys seeing that part of me, they didn’t ever care about the size to be honest, it was how I felt which made me feel uncomfortable. When something starts effecting your personal life, effecting your choices on what clothes to wear, struggling on finding bras that fit, you just end up not really liking it. I just wanted to be more in proportion with the rest of my shape as I do have curves around the hips.

                                                                                                                                             

I’ve always avoided low cut tops as I’ve never seen the point in trying to show that area, there’s nothing there and if people looked I would get self-conscious thinking they were judging me, or thinking where are her boobs?! I have lots of lovely low back dresses but cannot really wear them out as the thought of going braless in public panics me. You might think, well small boobs you don’t need to wear a bra with it. If I do that though I feel as flat as an ironing board. I wear bras really to make it look like there’s something there. I’ve tried those stick-on bras, but erm there’s not really anything for it to stick on to so they just move around and it looks ridiculous. If I'm wearing a bra it's most certainly padded, all fine until people want to do to the beach, then I feel highly uncomfortable, usually going for a bandeau style top rather than triangle.

I’d been thinking about having a Breast Augmentation for a long time, even during my stay at hospital, but I knew that I had to wait until I was mentally and physically recovered from my eating disorder before I could consider it. 2 months ago, I knew I was ready for my surgery and did my research and decided to undergo the procedure. When trying on sizers they give you an unpadded bra to wear, you put the sizers into the cups and then wear the provided fitted vest. I decided to go for 180cc, and, I know what you’re thinking ‘Gosh that’s tiny!’, but I am a 28” back that I wanted to go small to be in proportion with my frame. I recovered so well and I am now 6 weeks post-op and getting ready to go on holiday in Italy.

It really has changed my life and clichéd as it sounds, I feel like a new person with a newfound confidence and love for my body. Now, I can be as experimental as I want to be with my style; something I always wanted and I feel like my Instagram has come on leaps and bounds too. To be honest I would say my expectations have been exceeded. I have even found the confidence to obtain a new job in York and I am moving out of my family home next month on my own to start my new life. New Boobs, New Me! 

Before my op, one of my secret fears was the stigma that might come with having had a ‘boob job’, but post op I’m so pleased I went ahead. I knew I was doing it for me and I’m so so happy with the results! They look really natural and completely in keeping with the shape of my body. They feel like they’ve always been there.

Thanks for reading and I hope this helped anyone who has been or is going through the same journey as me. Remember surgery isn’t for everyone, but it definitely was the right decision for me, please do your research as it is a massive procedure!

Love Ciandra x