Monday, 17 July 2017

How to Stay Positive


We all have down days, myself included, but this does not mean they have to last and bring your mood down for a long time. I would pride myself in being a positive person and many of my friends would comment on my upbeat personality. I have learnt to be positive as whilst growing up I have had many hard times (I may do a future blog post on this if I feel confident enough!), but these hard times have made me appreciate the good things in life and why we should all look at the positives more! I was trapped before, not physically but mentally; by the destructive thought pattern called pessimism. Pessimism creates blocked opportunities where there aren't any, creates dark clouds on a sunny day. But pessimism does not have to last, it certainly didn't for me, I learnt to replace my pessimism with optimism. 
Staying upbeat constantly is tough, many of us quickly revert to negative thinking patterns day in day out, this is why I have been collecting tips on how to maintain positive thinking and to stay happy, which I will share with you in this article. 

Control Self-Doubt

Self-doubt can be so debilitating and can really knock your confidence. Self-doubt is fuelled by negative thinking, you assume the worst, doubt your ability and avoid the challenge. We all doubt ourselves sometimes, even the most confident person doubts themselves, however you can learn to control this so it doesn't hold you back. Have you ever thought about why you may doubt yourself, it's probably because someone has said something to you that causes you to question yourself. But why listen to that person who talks negatively about you if they have nothing constructive to say, block the negatively and your doubt should be lessened. There is absolutely nothing helpful gained from self-doubt, so why have it? 

Reduce Your Worries

Now I will be honest with you, I am the worst for worrying. I worry over the smallest thing and is my biggest obstacle to optimism. However, there is ways to control your worries and not let them interfere with your life. Ask yourself 'How many of my worries actually happened in reality?'. If you think about that question you can probably think of very few instances where you worries have come true, these worries are just monsters in our heads that play on our minds. This question acts as a reality check and to calm down about the imaginary nightmare you have been building in your head. It makes you think more positively about every situation in life that we come across.

Help Others

When you do good, it feels good. This may seem obvious but not a lot of people actually go out of there way to help others. Seeing a smile on a stranger's face is something that really warms your own heart, this is because your actions have benefited someones life, this feel-good factor is a part of helping others that should be embraced. Whatever you do, whether tiny like helping an elderly women cross the road, or life changing like donating an organ to someone ill, it's important to remember you did it. Having that feeling, passion and drive for others is something we should all try at least once to make us feel more positive.

Stop Negative Language

When we think negatively then our speech often matches our mind. We say things that might not benefit us and make our thoughts worse. We may not think it but what we say really does impact on how positive (or negative!) we may feel. If you think more positively then you are more likely to be more positive when you speak. Confident people speak positive language, this helps them stay positive in their mental attitude. Watch out for instances where you say sorry when an apology isn't necessary, doing this sends negative messages to your brain and communicates a submissive message to the person you are saying it to. It isn't a positive and confident action and therefore does not help to build up your self-belief. So speak positively, your mind will appreciate it!

NEVER GIVE UP! 

Finally my BIGGEST piece of advice is to never give up. Life will throw hard times at you but you have to remember that these times are temporary and that good times are just round the corner. Something my dad always used to say to me when I no positives in life is that 'There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to travel through the dark times to reach the light.' This is so true and is so important to hold onto when you believe there is nothing worth living for, because trust me, there really is!! Being at a low point makes you fight for what you really want out of life, and that is happiness.
In the words of the Dalai Lama 'In order to carry a positive action, we must carry a positive vision'.

I hope this blog post has been of some use to any of you reading, remember you are worth so much more than your negative thoughts about life and yourself. Things do get better!\

Love Ciandra x 

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